Mercury Social page from SLB

1am Posts

Before I even begin I have to quote something I just read " In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken away from you" while this quote says this; when I saw the quote the first time my brain read it as " In your soul you are infinitely beautiful, nothing can be taken away from you" does that even make sense? why did my brain decide to do that? How did my brain take words that are written and arranged a certain way and re-read them as something else, HOW??? Im sitting here trying to read the English book (Copywriting) and my pages are blank, there are no words, no chapters, no page numbers, nothing. So now what do I do? The reason I'm even reading this book is because my spelling sucks, en-route to my thinking of good ideas is very very dusty and gravel and needs major fine tuning, I just want to get better at my Job. Now I'm sitting here teaching myself how to write, how to think and how to look at the world with a different eye. It's not going well I must say, It's very frustrating. Just Skyped with the Kid, sure does know how to make me smile.

If I share with you my story will you share your dollar with me

so I find myself afraid to sign my permanent contract. The reason for this I assume is because I think I have a long standing and unwavering fear of commitment. I think that I probably never really noticed this but I actually do. I have to talk myself into commitment, sometimes I get thrown into it, but I always hesitate at the sight of it. Anything that presents a version of me signing myself into something I cannot willingly get out of anytime, anyhow and without any hassle well I fear it. I find myself questioning if this is what I really want to wake up and do everyday for the rest of my life. I question whether or not I should have taken my dads offer to work for him writing down data about his buses. I question if my salary is good enough or if I'm being cheated. There are a lot of things I question myself on, and I have no answers.  I really do not know. I opened my contract envelop once, skimmed through everything and I quickly put it away because I'm afraid that I really can't sign it. I'm afraid to look at it, go through it. And then Jenny was like I really need to get inspired. Which I asked her what made her think I was not inspired, I prowl other blogs, ads, I read a lot and I'm writing more than I've ever before in my life. Why would she think I'm not inspired? Then I figured Cameron must have said something to her, who knows, but then sometimes I think I'm being compared living in the shadow of the great Jay-Ay. I told her that I am the way I am, I'm quiet, down to earth, the loudest thing about me is my laugh and just because I'm like that they can't judge me on my personality. I accept them the way they are and they should accept me the way I am. I'm not the fake smiles, jump around kind of person who rants on and on. I'm more like a still waters kind of person, you never know what I'm doing but you best believe I'm doing something.

Tyrone has inspired me.

So  got tuned by tyrone the other day, how my status's on facebook are all like I'm this depressed heart broken doll as he put it. He said he didn't want to read them because they were so depressing and he did not want to follow me on twitter because of it. So I'm glad he told me his truth which is kind of true actually. My timeline is so depressing but now I will change my tune on facebook. I will not speak of my heartbrokeness even though I am not heartbroken, well not anymore that is. I will only be positive about everything in my life. So let me switch and talk more about my work and my love for writing. I am thinking about starting a new blog, it will have some of the work I do I think, a look at my own work, and how it can begin as this cool idea, but through time as it gets to the client, how my creativity is stripped away and eventually I am left with but a piece of what I had once called a good idea. Thats how the industry works, very seldomly do you start off with something great and see it live. The first example being my radio script. At first it was this awesome thing, but eventually, it just became another watered down retail script, as the process of change went on, I died a little bit inside, my soul was crushed, but I kept chopping, and taking away my creativity till the client was happy. The whole thought of this blog is so that atleast even if the world never gets to see the original creations of what me and my Art Director think of, atleast on this new blog our work will live atleast for someone somewhere out there to see.

I only want fashion from my past ...

I'm a forgiving person because I know all the wrong I do to other people and I know i appreciate it if they have forgiven me and moved on. So I forgive, I forgive and I forgive with all my heart and my might. I let go of the past and I let go of the hurt I have felt and I move on with a light heart and no baggage. I am Happy with my life. I am greatful for all that I have even though I still want more. I accept that I can't have everything that I want right now, thats only because everything takes time and good things come to those who wait. But all the essential things that I need, to live and survive and make life easy for me, I have it all and I am happy. I will quote this song again, "you can't always get what you want, but if you try, sometimes you might find you get what you need" and I have all that I need at this point in time in my life. Couldn't ask for more, but maybe more money because we can all use more more money but I just have to continue working hard for that.

 Here's my new look. I found this Vintage shirt for about R50 bucks at the Chris Saunders Park Market. Some chick had a Vintage stand selling items for low prices. It was a lucky find and I paired it with my 60's retro shades and my linen shorts from Mr price and then ended it off with my Jimmy Choo pumps. I absolutely love this look and I hope I'm not being too Vain but I even edited the pics to make them look old and outdated just to suit the look. hahahaha. I don't know these days im just inspired by eras of fashion that are from before my prime :) 

Sunday is a work day for me...

Its time to grow...

The words in this pic they inspre me, I will remember them everyday and when I am working and struggling, they will keep me going because my goals are changing, my dreams are growing and I am evolving...