There's a glitch in the system.

So remember that blog idea where I  wanted to post our work up from the original ideas, before the client watered them down to nothing. I also wanted to post all the cool stuff we think of but never really see live. Well I can't do it anymore, I read the rules and regulations on my contract, in simple terms they state that my thoughts on brands we work on belong to Ogilvy. They can't be distributed on the internet, social media or anywhre unless Ogilvy (the company does so) or I do so on behlaf of the company. So on that note, the blog idea is dead and a new idea has sprung. I will attempt to write a story for every brief that I get. I don't know how, or if it will work but everytime I get a brief, I will write either about the work and the process, the brief itself or just something as a plus one. I really am unsure as to how it will work but I need to write more and find my voice, the more I write, the more my voice will live and the better I will be at my job - Well atleast that's what Cameron said and I must believe that he isn't wrong because look at him, he got it right.

Mercury Social page from SLB

1am Posts

Before I even begin I have to quote something I just read " In your soul are infinitely precious things that cannot be taken away from you" while this quote says this; when I saw the quote the first time my brain read it as " In your soul you are infinitely beautiful, nothing can be taken away from you" does that even make sense? why did my brain decide to do that? How did my brain take words that are written and arranged a certain way and re-read them as something else, HOW??? Im sitting here trying to read the English book (Copywriting) and my pages are blank, there are no words, no chapters, no page numbers, nothing. So now what do I do? The reason I'm even reading this book is because my spelling sucks, en-route to my thinking of good ideas is very very dusty and gravel and needs major fine tuning, I just want to get better at my Job. Now I'm sitting here teaching myself how to write, how to think and how to look at the world with a different eye. It's not going well I must say, It's very frustrating. Just Skyped with the Kid, sure does know how to make me smile.

If I share with you my story will you share your dollar with me

so I find myself afraid to sign my permanent contract. The reason for this I assume is because I think I have a long standing and unwavering fear of commitment. I think that I probably never really noticed this but I actually do. I have to talk myself into commitment, sometimes I get thrown into it, but I always hesitate at the sight of it. Anything that presents a version of me signing myself into something I cannot willingly get out of anytime, anyhow and without any hassle well I fear it. I find myself questioning if this is what I really want to wake up and do everyday for the rest of my life. I question whether or not I should have taken my dads offer to work for him writing down data about his buses. I question if my salary is good enough or if I'm being cheated. There are a lot of things I question myself on, and I have no answers.  I really do not know. I opened my contract envelop once, skimmed through everything and I quickly put it away because I'm afraid that I really can't sign it. I'm afraid to look at it, go through it. And then Jenny was like I really need to get inspired. Which I asked her what made her think I was not inspired, I prowl other blogs, ads, I read a lot and I'm writing more than I've ever before in my life. Why would she think I'm not inspired? Then I figured Cameron must have said something to her, who knows, but then sometimes I think I'm being compared living in the shadow of the great Jay-Ay. I told her that I am the way I am, I'm quiet, down to earth, the loudest thing about me is my laugh and just because I'm like that they can't judge me on my personality. I accept them the way they are and they should accept me the way I am. I'm not the fake smiles, jump around kind of person who rants on and on. I'm more like a still waters kind of person, you never know what I'm doing but you best believe I'm doing something.